How to Use a Dildo for the First Time: A Beginner’s Guide
Using a dildo for the first time should feel comfortable, safe and completely within your control. There is no need to rush or use the toy’s full length.
Choose One That Suits You
Consider where and how you want to use it:
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For beginners: Choose a slim, smooth dildo with a rounded tip and some flexibility.
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For targeted internal stimulation: A gently curved shape may be suitable.
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For a harness: Check that it has a wide base and fits the harness or O-ring.
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For anal use: Only use a toy with a wide, flared base that cannot slip inside the body.
Check the insertable length and diameter—not only the toy’s total length. Choose a non-porous, body-safe material such as quality silicone, glass or stainless steel.
Before You Begin
Wash the dildo according to its care instructions and inspect it for damage. Get comfortable, begin with external touch and use plenty of water-based lubricant on both your body and the toy.
Using It Safely
Guide the dildo in slowly and only as far as feels comfortable. Start with gentle, shallow movements before experimenting with depth, angle or speed. Stop if you experience sharp pain, persistent discomfort, numbness or bleeding—never force it or use numbing products to hide pain.
For partnered use, communicate throughout and let the receiving person control the pace whenever possible.
Cleaning and Sharing
Wash the dildo before and after every use. If sharing, cover it with a fresh condom and change the condom between partners or body parts. Never move a toy from the anus to the vagina without thoroughly cleaning it and replacing the condom.
Your first experience does not need to involve deep penetration or an orgasm. Take your time, listen to your body and focus on discovering what genuinely feels good for you.
Safer-use guidance: NSW Health—Sex toys: Play Safe.